90210

So, judging by this episode, I think people have been underestimating the potential Freaks & Geeks-ness of this new 90210. I remember reading that Gabe Sachs and Jeff Judah were writing it, and being all, "Really? 9021o will be like Freaks & Geeks? Why aren't people more excited about that?" I guess maybe that got lost in the shuffle of the "omgnew90210" stuff, but judging by the first 20 minutes of this show, it's highly, HIGHLY zany. Everything is supposed to be a joke, at least at this point- Jessica Walter in the first scene! Cut-aways to the lead singing Rogers & Hammerstein! Zaniness to the maxxx, y'all! It's like a funny Degrassi.

VIDEO GAMES TELL THE FUTURE

Do the Japanese programmers behind a popular video game series know something we don't? Probably lots of things! Like how to program a videogame! But do they also know. . . .THE FUTURE?!

The 2004 video game "Ace Combat 5: The Unsung War" is a flight simulator, built around a war between a tiny nation, Osea, and a neighboring powerhouse, The Union of Yuktobanian States. They have a territorial dispute. Hrm, what does this remind anyone of. . . perhaps the breakaway Georgian Republic, Ossetia, that's sparked a war with Russian! Osea, Ossetia; The Union of Yuktobanian States, The Russian Federation?! Also, there's been a suspicious amount of air combat between Georgia and Russia in this one-day war, with Georgia losing 10 fighters and Russia losing two. VIDEO GAME PROGRAMMERS KNOW THE FUTURE!!

I, for one, quake in anticipation of the rabid aliens, zombies, and Nintendogs that will soon overwhelm our cities.

War, real and fake.

hey i was having trouble thinking today

so i wrote this:

FART STICKS AROUND POO TOWN

(POO TOWN) – Pootians were flabberghasted Tuesday by a fart stick spill on Stinkway #2, the town’s main thoroughfare (for poop). “It just boggles the [asshole] that a trusted fart stick delivery driver could be so careless,” said Squishy Stinktonian, a lifelong Pootian. “What is my son, Hard Gas, going to eat for lunch now?”

WACKY REGIONAL HEADLINES

In the course of my work, I peruse the web page of many a small-town paper, and let me tell you, shit out there in America is crazy. From Bethlehem, PA's Express Times:

Recent thefts target stores that carry high-end meats

The rest of the story suggests that "The desperate need for drugs and the cash to buy them" is prompting "addicts" to walk into high-end grocery stories (the story is illustrated with a truly banal photo of a Wegman's), load up their shopping carts and walk out. Now, I'm not sure exactly how that would get you money for meth - second-hand meat selling? Passing your grocery savings on to your meth habit?

To me, this sounds a lot more like the behavior of cash-strapped suburbanites unwilling to give up their designer lifestyle along with that house that was foreclosed on. In other words, sounds like someone has been watching The Riches a bit too much.

Deaden your brain with the full story here

What the fuck is up with Nestor Carbonell?

Just got back from The Dark Knight, which is great, blah blah. BUT! What the fuck is up with Nestor Carbonell? Nestor, who is one of The Others on Lost, and was also on Suddenly Susan (will anyone but me admit to having watched that but me?), has about a dozen lines as Gotham's Mayor. Which I had a hard time focusing on because of his CRAZY EYES.


Hey ALWAYS, ALWAYS looks like he has on too much eyeliner. I used to just think the makeup people on Lost decided that guyliner is ominous, and in light of Pete Wentz's continued existance, I somewhat agree. But, the above is just him out somewhere normal. AND he has it in The Dark Knight. Does he have that shit tattooed on? Does he insist on wearing it in all productions? Like he thinks it's his trademark look or something (Fonzi - leather jacket, Hillary - pantsuit, Nestor Carbonell - inexplicably pronounced eyeliner)? Is he an Egyptian prince, perhaps? Is this some kind of crazy naturally occuring phenominon? Carbonellisis? Nestor's Eye? Please, Jesus, someone help me out.

New Electric Company?

Ex - - citing. Exciting! I was pleasantly surprised to see this notice tacked up in Manhattan the other day saying that there's a new version of 1970s kidstraviganza "The Electric Company" in production. Did we all know this was happening already? I didn't, a little Googling turned up next to nothing. I just feel like I've stumbled upon a fantastic discovery, like when I found that my copy of All Things Must Pass had a gigantic poster of George Harrison inside. Please don't destroy this feeling, it's all I have.

There was, for some reason, a poster above the usual parking notice with further explanation. This is something the producers at Law & Order and Gossip Girl don't feel the need to do, but I guess everyone at Sesame Workshop takes their social responsibility seriously. Text in part is below.

"Sesame Workshop is launching a new season of The Electric Company this year on PBS. We are excited to be reviving a missed children's educational televison series that was very popular in the 1970s. Similar to the original series, the new series strives to encourage the language and vocabular development for children age's [sic] six to nine."

You might want to exert a bit more quality control over these location department notices guys - a grammatical error and an overall lack of verve? Tsk, tsk.

"The hammer is my penis"

Please go and watch this now. Actually it might be gone soon, so you may have to buy it on iTunes, or beam it from the Oort Cloud, or whatever form of media acquisitive is in vogue and the moment you're seeing this. It's "Dr. Horrible," the amazing musical adventures of the evil in one man's heart. Masterfully performed by Neil Patrick Harris, and amazingly put-together, as usual, by the most amazing geek alive, Joss Whedon. Download it to your retinal implants post-haste.