It's Raining Unicorns

And I'm just going outside to drink it the fuck up.

Decisions Are Hard

And yet they are essential.

Word Nerd

One of our youngest contestants

Suspended Indefinitely

Extremely Violent

Roy Scheider, 1935 - 2008

Over the weekend, sun dappled, windswept men and those who love them lost an icon in Roy Scheider. Over a four-decade career, he portrayed Cassandra-like sherriff Martin Brody in Jaws, more-or-less Bob Fossee in All That Jazz, and, of course, the rough-but-cuddly Captain Nathan Bridger in America's finest submarine action show, SeaQuest DSV.

Whether negotiating a peace deal in Micronesia, mourning his dead son, communicating with aliens, or just playing frisbee on the beach, Captain Bridger exuded the kind of quiet authority that kept his crew in line through many a time-traveling, giant-robot-battling adventure under the ocean and. . . not under the ocean. Seaquest was (or WILL BE, since it's set in the future) the most heavily-armed boat under the water, and also they could talk to dolphins.


Seaquest was, more than anything, a huge liberal wet dream (wet! Get it!). It came on the air in 1993, when Bill Clinton was still just about (!!) to eradicate all prejudices, save the rainforests and the whales, establish universal health care, and continue being an awesome pot head. Any crazy liberal fantasy seemed plausible. As such, the crew of Seaquest were the foot soliders of the much-feared ONE WORLD GOVERNMENT that Ron Paul freaks are always going on about, the United Earth Oceans, except they were in a black submarine and not a black helicopter. Meat was outlawed because cow flatulence was bad for the atmosphere. The army was mostly made up of sensible and sensitive people who just wanted to live in peace. Also mostly everyone lived underwater for reasons that weren't global warming. For fun, I guess? I salute you, Captain Nathan Bridger, and I salute you Roy Scheider, for bringing this man to life. I also enjoyed you in 2010: The Year We Make Contact, the sequel to 2001 that I watched on my local Fox affiliate one Saturday afternoon. Thanks!

It was fun to see my family

but sometimes they make me feel boring.